This started as a poetic form a one of my characters monologues. After writing it and seeing how it actually became something. I decided to show it too a friend. Who loved it. I then showed it to another, more critical friend, who pointed out all its flaws, and that's with the edited version. I then set out to make even more edits, until finally I got this. Which I can honestly say I'm happy with. Do I think it has issues? Of course, too the extent that it genuinely bugs me. But for now, this is fine.